Now that this is official, I will try harder than an inbred trying to capture a lascivious teen to make these posts top notch.

Now that these are no longer mere fleeting posts on Facebook, I’d again like to address all you scary movie lovers officially on my spine-chillingly shitty cinema review.

I saw Wrong Turn way back in the day; knew a second was made; and thought I heard something of a third. As far as I knew it stopped there. Wrong! There is a fourth and a fifth and if I had to guess, each is worse than the last.

I went on Rotten Tomatoes to check that situation out. The second actually received a 78%, which is almost unbelievable for a movie like that, as well as upsetting because I’m led to believe it’s actually “good” good.

I caught the end of Wrong Turn 4 recently (literally the last five minutes), and it was so hilariously bad that I forced myself to stay up to watch Wrong Turn 5 to see how much worse it could get. I was far from disappointed. From what I remember of the first Wrong Turn, the makeup artists actually took a jolly good stab at making the inbreds look like actual inbreds. It looked like the makeup artists for Wrong Turn 5 ran out to Party City for some cheap Halloween masks. In addition, the small, deserted town where the majority of the movie takes place looked like a fake town that was built as a paintball course.

If you want to see a man’s ear chewed off and Saw-inspired kills, then I leave you with this picture and a decision to make:

wt5

I caught this on TV, and unfortunately it doesn’t look like the Wrong Turns are on Netflix yet.

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About sheedzor2390

My parents let me watch just about whatever I wanted as a tot. Let me tell you, watching The Exorcist at 7-years-old will make you tough as nails. I believe I am better for it. One of my life goals is to be in a crappy, low-budge horror flick. The best time of year? Halloween, when all the best of the worst movies are played. My Netflix suggestions? Macabre. Romantic comedies? Kafkaesque. On the other hand, I do enjoy a good romantic tragedy.
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