“Texas Chainsaw”… Why *wouldn’t* this be made in 3D?


^This here is what nightmares are made of.^ In fact, it has inspired me to make a future post called, “What Nightmares Are Made Of,” depicting my favorite creepy screenshots from horror flicks.

When I found out Texas Chainsaw was coming to a theater near me in 3D, I was pretty excited. No remake will ever come close to the original few, but what’s not to like about any decade’s portrayal of a chainsaw-wielding leatherface?

It was a cool January night when me, my sister, and her fiancé decided to throw caution to the wind, prepare ourselves for some dull headaches, and see Texas Chainsaw 3D. It was so bad/good, I took my 3D glasses as a keepsake. That recycling box ain’t getting MY glasses.

The audience was packed and loud, as expected. The acting was bad. This might be the worst Texas Chainsaw yet… Ok… It is the worst Texas Chainsaw yet.

The leading lady tells the coppers at one point that all her friends were just killed, but she says it as if she were telling them her friends had just been in a fender-bender. Terrible acting, or did she not really care? I mean… they were all kind of dicks…

Kudos: At one point, the leading lady gets dragged into a factory and, naturally, her shirt ends up completely open (we could’ve sworn she was wearing a bra in previous scenes, but hey, shit happens). For a very thin girl, she’s got some knockers on her; but they played it off with some tasteful inner-boob (not side boob, not cleavage, not underboob… I guess we call it inner-boob?). Now, how her shirt managed to stay in place so as not to create any nip-slips is beyond me! I never have qualms with nudity in movies, but it’s so common in horror flicks that it’s occasionally refreshing when all you get is a little tasteful inner-boob. Nothing wrong with leaving a little up to the imagination here and there, eh?


The storyline (which I will not give away) was actually pretty solid; but it did lend itself to some cheesy zingers. With a better cast, better screenwriter, better producer, just better everything… it probably could have been good good. Alas, it was bad. And I loved it for that.


About sheedzor2390

My parents let me watch just about whatever I wanted as a tot. Let me tell you, watching The Exorcist at 7-years-old will make you tough as nails. I believe I am better for it. One of my life goals is to be in a crappy, low-budge horror flick. The best time of year? Halloween, when all the best of the worst movies are played. My Netflix suggestions? Macabre. Romantic comedies? Kafkaesque. On the other hand, I do enjoy a good romantic tragedy.
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